Friday, March 27, 2009

Midgets, Bellybuttons, and Skittles

Ten reasons why I believe I'm a little evil...
  1. If someone is driving on the freeway with their blinker on, I get in front of them and put my blinker on, just to annoy them as much as they annoy me.
  2. I think it's hilarious when people fall.
  3. When people take their sweet time crossing the street, I sometimes fantasize about hitting them with my car, just to teach them a lesson.
  4. I don't believe in Adam and Eve because I saw a painting of them and they had belly buttons and neither one of them should have a belly button. If I saw a painting of them without bellybuttons, I might change my thinking.
  5. Midgets make me laugh...so much so, that I truly want to start a company that rents out midgets for kid's parties. I'd call it Rent-A-Midget our motto would be: "Little People For Your Little People".
  6. I have a difficult time finding the difference between gullible and faith.
  7. I think littering is good...it creates more jobs.
  8. I managed to get through high school without ever reading a book.
  9. I schedule appointments around TV shows.
  10. I have never been able to eat or drink after anyone my whole life, I think it's gross, yet today I ate something that I found on the floor in my hotel because I wasn't sure if it was an M&M or a Skittle...(it was a Tylenol).

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Hot

I went downstairs this morning to get my daily caffeine fix, but they were out of mugs, so I had to use a paper cup. As I preceded back to my room, the cup got hotter and hotter. I did not realize that I was exclaiming "hot" out loud until the good looking guy passing by me said "Thank you" . Right at that moment, my hand decided that it could no longer handle the scorching heat. In a split second, his Sketchers were covered with scolding hot, brown liquid. He soon realized I was talking about the coffee.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I'm Not Gonna Do It

In DBT today, we did this weird activity that made me feel awkwardly stupid. It was one of those exercises where participation is required from everyone because if one person doesn't participate, it doesn't work. So prior to doing the activity, Dr. Murphy made sure me and the three other girls in group were willing to do what the lady on the tape tells us to do. We all agreed. So we begin. The lady on the tape instructs us to relax and get comfortable and join in whenever we're ready. I was not sure what she meant until she started chanting "Shaaaa-loooommmmmmm". So I look around the room and nobody is joining the chant except Dr. M, and I'm not about to jump in because I feel ridiculous... so for the next 2 minutes Dr. Murphy and the lady on the tape are singing "Shalom" over and over while me and the other girls silently shared confused looks. Nobody ever joined in. Dr. Murphy was not happy.
"This is the first time in 15 years" she said, "that absolutely nobody joined in". Then of course, she went around the room and got every one's explanations. When my turn came, I knew that saying "I felt silly" wasn't gonna fly, so I came up with the brilliant excuse that I don't feel comfortable chanting Jewish terminology...which I totally made up. The words were literally coming out of my mouth before I knew what I saying . So now I sound like a Jew basher, and then she asks me if I would prefer if we chanted "Bon Joir", and I replied by asking "why can't we chant an English word?" So now I look like a Jew bashing, non-English speaking hater and the more I tried to get my foot out of my mouth, the more ignorant my statements became, so I left.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

I didn't write any blogs the past week cuz I didn't want to write about the hard time I'm having, but after talking to my therapists, I decided that if I only write about the lighter side of things than I am not really sharing my whole experience...and the whole point of the blog is to keep my family up to date about things. (Sorry about the run on sentence.) I just didn't want to sound like a big cry baby. But get out your tiny violins....
I had a hard week because I'm trying to get structure and everything, but things aren't going so smoothly. I think the root of it is the fact that I'm having a hard time making friends and without friends, it gets really hard to be social, and when it's hard to be social, it gets real lonely. I never experienced anxiety about things before. I never knew I was shy, because I always knew someone, or I had someone in my family there to guide me thru. I was supposed to go to an open house for a design school, but I couldn't do it because I got so scared. I know that if I had a friend there with me, I could have gone. I feel really bad because I am so dependant on other people to hold my hand and help me thru. I feel like my feelings of worthlessness are finally justified.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Power In Numbers

Today at 3:30 I get the results to all the tests I took a few weeks ago. The only one I care about is the IQ test. I know, it's just a number... but they developed this elaborate test (WAIS)for a reason. Other than to weed out the the geniuses and the retarded from the rest of the population, I'm not real sure what the reason behind the IQ test is. I guess people just love numbers.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Good Grief

I was really confused when I saw that today was Sunday. I fell asleep on Friday.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Why I Love My Family

Every time I get a new doctor I have to go through an evaluation process where they ask me a million questions about my life. Most people hate this process, but not me...I love it. I don't particularly enjoy the redundancy of sharing my life story over and over, but watching the doctors' stunned reactions and disbelief to my unique family situation makes it all worth it. I just got a new case manager, his name is Dr. Z. This is how some of the evaluation (and the dozen evaluations before) went:

Dr: Do you have any siblings?
Me: yes.
Dr: How many?
Me: 7
Dr: 7? Are they all from the same parents?
Me: yep
Dr: Where are you in the birth order?
Me: last.
Dr: Wow. So how old is your oldest sibling?
Me: 53 (or 54).
Dr: Wow. How old are your parents?
Me: My mom is 72 and my dad is 77
Dr: Wow, they had you a lot later in life.
Me: Yep
Dr: So are any of your siblings married or have kids?
Me: Yep.
Dr: Okay. Starting from the oldest, tell me their name and how many kids they have.
***(Abridged version)
Me: K is the oldest, she has 4, then D has 2, S has 4, D has6
Dr: Wow, that's a lot.
Me: I'm not done.
Dr: Oh sorry, go on.
Me: B has 2, R has 4, and A has 4
Dr: Wow...you are a good Catholic family!
Me: I guess.
Dr: and your parents are still married?
Me: No they got a divorce.
Dr: How old were you when they divorced?
Me: 25 or 26.
Dr: So just recently? How long were they married?
Me: 50 yrs.
Dr: 50 yrs?!!!
Me: I guess they got sick of living in separate houses, so they figured they might as well
Dr: So they were separated?
Me: No. They just lived in separate houses.
Dr: When did that happen?
Me: A little bit after my dad's heart transplant.
Dr: Heart Transplant!?!
Me: Yeah. It was 10 yrs ago.
Dr: Do you mean heart surgery?
Me: No. I mean he has a new heart.
Dr: How is he doing now?
Me: He's doing great.
Dr: Wow!

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